Allergy testing

When I became pregnant with Coryn, I also became extremely congested. I had to take Benadryl and Sudafed through my pregnancy with her just to make it day to day. I assumed that it was a new pregnancy side effect that I had not had with my first two pregnancies and counted down to September 2006 excited to meet my baby, but also to see that side effect disappear. Imagine my horror when I realized that particular symptom would not be leaving and would in fact become worse. When she was a few months old, I sought out an allergist who performed an allergy scratch test using a tray that was pushed on my back. I was a little depressed to learn that I had no allergies. I did however have a sinus infection and also found out I had hypothyroid. Maybe these two things would explain my constant nasal suffering? So we treated those and went on with life and the symptoms continued and also with each season continued to get worse. And yet in the back of my mind I thought that the test had somehow been performed wrong. There was no way to explain my discomfort, but to describe it as severe allergies. And so just recently I decided to go for testing again. I talked to my friend/doctor and she suggested that I try Kansas City Allergy and Asthma clinic. I finally made the call.

A week before the testing I had to go off all my antihistamines. That was a tough week. Mid-week I had a conversation with another woman who had also gone to that first doctor and been told she had no allergies also and yet she was still suffering. This just strengthened my resolve to get the testing knowing that the outcome would be different this time and I might finally get some answers.

On Tuesday afternoon I went into the office, talked to the Doctor and then had the first part of the test performed. This time the tech did each scratch individually. It was more uncomfortable than the first time, but it also really "scratched" me so I knew it had gotten into my skin. I reacted to several things with that so we moved on to injections in my arm which caused even more reactions. I found out I was allergic to molds, dustmites, grass, trees, ragweed etc etc. Thankyou God!! The doctor spent a considerable amount of time discussing my options and changing my meds. He also feels that I have chronic Sinusitis. So we are treating that also. I felt so relieved. I honestly felt this huge depressing cloud lift from me. We can treat this. I can feel better.

I am still a little annoyed that the first doctor missed this and never really tried to help me. Not only did it cost us a good deal of money, but it cost me three more years where I could have been feeling better.

But I won't spend too much time dwelling on that. I will look towards the future and know that I am finally getting my answers and that I WILL feel better.

On the wagon yet again

So we returned from Florida a few weeks ago. We had a blast but one thing that was not so great were the pictures of me. I hate seeing myself in pictures. I hate being in pictures. I feel like a toad! Well maybe not a toad, but I definitely don't have any narcissistic tendencies going on when I look at a picture of myself. And instead of pausing over a picture of myself and thinking that it looks nice, I pause and obsess about everything that is wrong with it. So I am back on the wagon as of yesterday. I no longer own a scale thanks to Coryn using it as a trampoline, but that is ok, because it isn't so much about the number as it is about how I feel and how my clothes fit. I am using all the awesome information that I learned at Weight Watchers and am also going to be using the Sparkpeople app on my phone to help me get there.

One of the best ways to stay motivated is to know that other people know that I am working on it. Because the little motivations that come from conversations and questions from my friends and the fact that when I am out socially with one of you, you "know" what I am trying to do and support me, really makes a huge difference. I am putting it out there for the world. I am giving myself 7 months to make a difference. We go on a cruise then, and I would really LOVE to wear a bathing suit and feel good about how I look. So there you have it!

Song Lyrics

It's funny how you hear a song a thousand times and never really listen to it. This morning I really LISTENED to a song and guess what? A song that never really meant that much to me, all of a sudden became genius to me. Here are the lyrics:
Drops of Jupiter by Seatrain
Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the milky way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey, hey

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol Jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the milky way
And tell me, did venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone
Conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had... And me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the milky way

I think I want to paint the chorus somewhere in one of my girls rooms!

When you are number three, there aren't many "firsts" left to accomplish

Accomplish is probably the wrong word here. I am not really sure what the right word is, but I digress. Today, my sweet little Coryn had a first that her sisters have never experienced. I walked into her class at the end of the day to a little sleepy eyed girl who came to me a little slower than normal. She seemed hesitant. It was then that her teacher came over to us, sat down in one of the small chairs near us and said, "Coryn has had a sort of rough day"! I immediately imagine that she was missing me, or she got hurt, or she had some other offense commited against her. She is my sweet sweet baby(detect the sarcasm in that?). As Miss Karen went on to explain, my girl bit a fellow classmate today! Yes you read that right, she bit someone else. And to drive the point home that we don't bite, she had to go to the director's office. Director is synonomous with Principal. My three year old went THERE! UGH! And not only that, did I mention she freaking bit someone????? Double Ugh! And they can't even tell me who, so I am just feeling awful for this child who I am imagining with a chunk of flesh missing from their arm, head, leg wherever. Although they assured me she didn't acutally break skin, but whatever. I know I would be upset if my child got bit. I never knew what it felt like to be on this end of the discipline spectrum. It sucks. Really Really SUCKS! Oh this child...she is going to make me old. Really really old.

Daughters

I have three daughters as you are probably well aware of if you visit my blog ever. This past week I have been stunned by a couple of news reports that I have seen. The first is the arrest of Polanski on charges of the statutory rape of a 13 year old. The second just caught my attention moments ago. It is that the Tate has shut down an exhibit that features a nude photograph of a 10 year old Brooke Shields. WOW! I have a ten year old. That is my first thought, my second is WHO let her pose for a nude photo at 10? Where were her parents? Who was looking out for her best interest?

My 10 year old is growing into a young woman, she is beautiful and flashes between little girl and young woman from moment to moment. You never know what you are going to get. But there is still innocence in her. A lot of it. And there is modesty. It would be horribly invasive to her psyche to photograph her now in any form of nudity, even innocent such as the baby bath pictures which most mothers cannot resist. I have not seen the picture of Ms. Shields so I do not know what it is a photo of, but like I said, even an "innocent" photo is not OK at the age of 10. I go back to wondering who was there for her? It makes me sick to think that a museum would even consider this to be art. I am glad that the police have intervened. It isn't right which brings me to the next media blitz that is Roman Polanski.

The first time I ever heard of R.P. was when I read Helter Skelter at the age of 20. I learned of his fleeing from this case at that time also as I had done some research about the book and people in it. The entire thing makes me sick. Like I mentioned, I have three daughters and it sickens me that this man has been free for 30 years after raping a 13 year old girl. I have read that she wanted the case dropped. She is in mid-life now, but how much of that night has defined her life? How did her life change because this man took liberties with her that are just downright sick? And as is the case most often, how many other girls have there been that he has also taken advantage of that we will never know about. I am so happy that he has been arrested. He should not be celebrated for his work as an "artist". He is a sick person who needs to be punished for a crime that he committed, 30 years or not!

As a mom I refuse to support or condone any kind of behaviour that robs little girls of their innocence, even in the name of ART(and SHAME on the celebrities who support R.P). We have a responsibility to these kids to let them be children and to discover life at their own pace in healthy relationships. We are their advocates and their protectors.

And in case you have been living in a cave or a bubble somewhere, it is also your responsibility to check the sex offender website and often, because people move. Keep your children safe.
http://www.familywatchdog.us/

Stepping off my soap box.

Weekend Update

We had such a great weekend. Beautiful weather, family, friends, Oktoberfest. What more could a family ask for?

Friday night J.R. and I volunteered at the Lee's Summit Chamber of Commerce beer and brat tent. This is the second year we have done this and we couldn't have picked a better night. We all had a great time making nachos, pretzels, drinks and of course the brats. Although after working the stand, none of that appealed to me at all.






Saturday we started the day with errands. Ella got a new bike, I almost talked J.R. into adopting a rescue dog because we don't have enough of a zoo going on around here these days and well our fish died this week so naturally a dog would be a great replacement. After many tears, because I was sure J.R. was going to give in and so the girls got excited(the tears were not mine however), we left beautiful Redman at Petco. I hope he found a good home with kids because he was just like the most awesome dog EVER! BTW he was an Australian Cattle dog who looked part Huskie but with this beautiful red hair. LOVED HIM!

All melancholy we headed over to the Kansas side to visit our cousin's new business, Franchise Mart. What a neat idea for a business. I am very excited for him. If you are in the market for a franchise business(and let me tell you he has everything you could ever imagine and more), call him. His name is Brad Johnson and here is a link to his new business:
http://www.franchisemart-overlandpark.com/our_staff.htm
I even got excited about some of the possibilities and may be contacting him soon.

The afternoon was spent preparing for our friend, Mollie's wedding. Mollie worked with J.R. for awhile and then gave Ella and even me some horseback riding lessons. They had a stunning wedding in a wonderful country, outdoor setting. It was probably one of the funnest ceremonies ever, as they laughed and really enjoyed themselves throughout the service. After they were pronounced hubby and wife they walked down the aisle with their dog. So sweet!





J.R. has a golf tournament today and I am going to take the girls to a walking trail that I just discovered by a lake while he is gone. The perfect ending to a perfect weekend.

My Epiphany

I am reading an amazing, life changing book. I am sharing this book with some pretty spectacular ladies who have life views that I love hearing. I feel like my cup is filled everytime we meet. It is almost like a drug for me. I can't wait to be filled again with their presence and with our discussions.

The book we are reading is Shame off You by Alan D Wright. Our discussion this week was on the chapter The Agony of Victory. What? I saw that title and it immediately intrigued me. The Agony of Victory? I don't get it. But as I read on I found myself marking up my book and making HUGE revelations about my own life.

I can't tell you how many times in my life I have had a major accomplishment, and the only thing I have felt is "So,What's next?" or "Why me?" or "I don't deserve this". This is a pattern in my life. I was unaware of it until Wednesday.

A discussion that has been present in my marriage since I started staying home 11 years ago has been my feelings of inadequacy. I mean somebody in the great beyond(Thank you God and I mean GOD!) chose me to parent these three amazing children. And instead of reveling in that fact and savoring the moments, I complained. I never saw accomplishments anymore in my life. I did laundry, I cleaned, I organized only to have it all thrown away 10 minutes later. WHY? When I worked, I set out to do a project only to see it completed and neatly filed away or graded since my job was teacher. On Wednesday I FINALLY(did I mention 11 YEARS????)figured it out. Life IS a journey. It is not about the destination so I have to live this life and by LIVING this life I mean being present in each and every moment. Showing my children how to live lives based on Christ like principles. I need to fill their cups and mine. Yes there will still be laundry and schedules and activities and outside demands but all of those become less important when looking at the big picture. The ACCOMPLISHMENT is in the day to day. How I live my life is a reflection into my children's lives and ultimately THEIR journey.

I know I have mentioned this book to several of you and I am serious when I say that EVERYONE that I know and love should read it. It has been life changing and wonderful. I wish I could personally thank Alan Wright for this gift to me.